You remember that morning when you were trying to get dressed for work, were already running behind, trying to focus; and throughout the tedious process of trying to rush out the door hearing your wife's voice "reminding" you what seemed like a dozen times to do the same thing. Or how about the time when something around the house was needing repair? Yes, the kids broke the toilet paper holder and it's annoying but your time is more important than fixing that "right now", isn't it? You tell yourself "I'll get to that later when I can", but your wife doesn't stop the reminders. In fact, she might have even sent you a text or phone call after you left just so you can schedule it in your day. Wow, "she just won't stop nagging me" you say to yourself. By now, you might have grown so frustrated that you even responded with "I'm at work and we can talk about this later" or "why are you riding my case about this".
Don't our wives understand that our time is short and must be used wisely? They always seem to push just the right buttons that makes forgetting the item they are incessantly telling us about impossible to forget...until you get distracted again and........forget. Then here they come with a fresh reminder while still somehow smiling and pleasant as if they had never told us once before. Where does the nagging end???
Our wives are determined to have whatever is broken be repaired. Whatever is unfinished needs to be completed. Whichever task is not done should be marked off their infinite list that continuously updates as if it were a cloud based super system incapable of a memory cap.
So, you finally give in and complete the repair. Three cheers for that!!! Then, just when the sigh of relief hits your thoughts she has 3 new reminders for you to complete. What is your response? I suppose at this point there are at least a handful of ideas. You could listen and be responsive. You could walk away frustrated and repeat the process from the last reminder. You could get angry and begin to argue with your spouse maybe even saying hurtful words like "you nag me too much" or even worse. Maybe you have a response all your own. But, in the end why do we respond the way we do?
A marriage is a covenant relationship where two separate people have become one. If one part of the unit isn't getting something done, and the other half of that unit helps make that happen; a common goal that improves the unit can be reached. If your wife is "nagging" you about something needing to be completed, it's probable that even if you don't see it that task does need to be done. In business, we call this type of person QA or QC (Quality Assurance or Quality Control). In government it's called checks and balances. We don't refer to the FDA inspector as someone who "nags" at the meat packing plants right? On the contrary, we see the value in having someone around who ensures our food is handled with care and systems are being followed to protect our health. We put value on situations where there is a balance in almost anywhere other than our own homes where WE MEN are held accountable by our wives. This is where we have to look closer at what is really happening. We have to look deeper behind our frustrations and past the relentless reminding our of spouses. Why do they do this and how does it help us? I'd say it can best be explained by looking at the beginning.
In Genesis 2:18, it says that our wife was created to be our "עזר" (help meet). So, what is a help meet? To put it easily, I define it myself as the other half of our unified body that is needed for us to be complete and function properly (i.e. what helps us to get things done). So, by that very simple outlook our wives are created for a purpose, and contained in that purpose is their design to help us do what needs to be done. And since life is distracting, sometimes complex, and we all grow weary at times our help meet is there to keep us on track. In summary, I'd say it all boils down to this:
If your wife is your עזר (help meet), and she persistently reminds you to do something that helps the unit, it is not nagging. It is just her doing what she is designed to do. Next time your wife is persistent, just say thank you and get it done. #OvercomingCulturalLies
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