I was born to a nice family and grew up in a Baptist Church where everyone went through the motions. You know, the kind of place where people seem so loving and wise, but then you catch them outside of church and hardly recognize them as the same individuals. The ones who say "I'll pray for you" but rarely or never do. Thankfully, despite the environment God (YHWH) had a plan for my life, and led me to submit my life over to Him. I made Yeshua (Jesus) the Lord of my life at 8 years old. It came just in time too! When I was 9, a lot of terrible things began to happen in our lives. We began a long period of trails and went through years of struggles with my Mom due to some battles she was fighting. Our lives were in a state of chaos, and all we could do was keep pushing forward. If it wasn't for the dedication of my Dad and protection of my heavenly Father, who knows what would have happened.
By the age of 11, I found myself creating my own barriers and moral codes; because nobody else was around to give them. My Dad had to work 7 days a week for most of my life just to hang on, and it was just my sister and I at home. I made some mistakes, but overall felt like a pretty good kid who didn't get into any real trouble. I had some loyal friends which is who most of my time was spent with, and they helped me stay distracted from the reality of my Mom's situation. I also joined the football team my freshman year of high school and found that to be my greatest outlet. I was never a star player at 5'4" and 120 lbs, but I poured all I had into that team. I learned all about character, determination, perseverance, and other life qualities that opened up a new world to me. I was still just a kid in need of serious wisdom, but I had goals, ambition, and a list of attributes that I found necessary to be successful in the world.
After I graduated, at age 18 I made a poor decision to get married. Even against her father's suggestion and my best friend's advice we got married at the courthouse (sounds exciting right? ) The worst part was that neither one of us were spiritually or emotionally ready and it was a year of agony for both of us. I learned that most of the awful things I witnessed in my life had stuck with me. I had all of the bad habits of my father and suffered insensitivity from emotional distress of my mother. I was a cold hearted, harsh speaking, selfish, lustful, and absent husband that actually thought I was great because"I provided". In short, it was a very tough way of learning that I was completely wrong.
My definition of a "good husband" was one that brought home the money and went to work. The issue was that my definition was so far from reality and the expectations of my spouse. We went to church marriage counseling, talked, tried reading books, etc. but nothing seemed to work. I found out the biggest issue wasn't knowledge (although it was important), but instead my most severe problem was me. I had no foundation, and despite my dedicated service to the church my marriage failed.
It was this failure in my life that The Lord used to ignite a fire in my heart to help others save themselves from my same fate. I began a journey to learn all I could to encourage the men of this world to set their beliefs on the only foundation that won't crumble. This is why I continue to fight for this group to become more than a forgotten internet page. I want men everywhere to bring up their children the way the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob commands. I want wives out there to feel like precious flowers that are truly lifted up on a pedestal because of the love their husband shows and delivers. I want broken homes and divorces to be a distant memory. While I know this isn't reality, I know that I serve a mighty God who tells me never to be afraid of anything but Him. The odds may not be in my favor and the divorce rate along with same sex couples is increasing; but I have faith that even a tiny mustard seed can make a large impact.
Today, I have the most amazing wife that I honestly feel was hand picked by Adonai. We have been married for 8 wonderful years, and I still get many things wrong. It's a journey of continuous learning that I treasure very much. My wife is the perfect compliment to me in every way, and makes my life a million times more exhilarating. Where she is weak I am strong, and where she is strong I am weak. I am living proof that even if you start on the wrong path, if you seek Elohim and follow Him you will have life in abundance. My bank account balance doesn't have 7 zeros, but I am a rich man. There is nothing in this world I need, but that which has already been given by Adonai.
I hope you do not feel my last paragraph is boastful. I intend only to relay my message that if you build a solid foundation you can have the most amazing, meaningful, and lasting marriage. If you were able to read through this mega long message, I hope you are encouraged to strive for something better in your life.
FEEL FREE TO SHARE YOUR STORIES :) WE ALL HAVE A PAST THAT CANNOT CHANGE, BUT OUR FUTURES HAVE YET TO BE MADE.
