People expect fathers to have rules for their children. Children that are raised without rules or structure can make awful mistakes because they cannot distinguish right from wrong. I have never been criticized for making rules for my children. My children have never been criticized for following my rules. If you ask my children why I have rules they will tell you it's for their protection because I love them and teach them. I care about everything they do, and I enjoy being involved in their lives. Yes, they make the wrong choices sometimes. But, I'm always there to point them back to the right path and support them when needed.
Our Father in Heaven has His own Instructions. Just like our own rules as fathers, His rules come with the command to be obedient. And, as we should expect of our own children, if we truly do love our Father we will obey His Instructions. We won't do it for some reward (i.e. salvation) but because we simply love Him. What do we get from obeying? We get to partake in the blessings that come with obeying our Father and forsake the curses of refusing to be obedient once we have the knowledge. After all, if we do love him why wouldn't we want to obey?
You might say at this point "Well what about Christ? We are saved in the blood of Christ and don't have to follow the law anymore. He fulfilled it and set us free." I'd respond, "Wow, you are so right. He absolutely did set us free! He broke off the shackles that enslaved us to SIN (not His Torah) and set us free from the sin so we could FOLLOW HIM. The blood of Christ DID SAVE US from the penalty of our own sin, which is eternal death." Looking at the Son of God, Yeshua (Jesus as known by most Christians) He led a perfect life where He obeyed the Father's Torah, taught it to others, and even verbalized it saying things like "Take up your cross and follow me" and these verses:
Matt 5:16-19 "In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. 17 Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. 18 For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished. 19 Therefore whoever relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven."
Does that sound like a Son that is seeking after His Father's business? Absolutely! So, while I can with confidence shout that I love my savior Yeshua and believe He died to save my sins, I can also say Praise Abba for Your Holy Torah which gives me the tools I need to make it on this earth. I obey His commands out of love, and it is of my own free will. Call it law, Torah, Instructions, rules, or whatever else you come up with but a man can only serve one master. Will you be a slave to sin or a slave to righteousness? I choose righteousness, because I love my Father.
Monday, November 17, 2014
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
The Nagging Housewife
You remember that morning when you were trying to get dressed for work, were already running behind, trying to focus; and throughout the tedious process of trying to rush out the door hearing your wife's voice "reminding" you what seemed like a dozen times to do the same thing. Or how about the time when something around the house was needing repair? Yes, the kids broke the toilet paper holder and it's annoying but your time is more important than fixing that "right now", isn't it? You tell yourself "I'll get to that later when I can", but your wife doesn't stop the reminders. In fact, she might have even sent you a text or phone call after you left just so you can schedule it in your day. Wow, "she just won't stop nagging me" you say to yourself. By now, you might have grown so frustrated that you even responded with "I'm at work and we can talk about this later" or "why are you riding my case about this".
Don't our wives understand that our time is short and must be used wisely? They always seem to push just the right buttons that makes forgetting the item they are incessantly telling us about impossible to forget...until you get distracted again and........forget. Then here they come with a fresh reminder while still somehow smiling and pleasant as if they had never told us once before. Where does the nagging end???
Our wives are determined to have whatever is broken be repaired. Whatever is unfinished needs to be completed. Whichever task is not done should be marked off their infinite list that continuously updates as if it were a cloud based super system incapable of a memory cap.
So, you finally give in and complete the repair. Three cheers for that!!! Then, just when the sigh of relief hits your thoughts she has 3 new reminders for you to complete. What is your response? I suppose at this point there are at least a handful of ideas. You could listen and be responsive. You could walk away frustrated and repeat the process from the last reminder. You could get angry and begin to argue with your spouse maybe even saying hurtful words like "you nag me too much" or even worse. Maybe you have a response all your own. But, in the end why do we respond the way we do?
A marriage is a covenant relationship where two separate people have become one. If one part of the unit isn't getting something done, and the other half of that unit helps make that happen; a common goal that improves the unit can be reached. If your wife is "nagging" you about something needing to be completed, it's probable that even if you don't see it that task does need to be done. In business, we call this type of person QA or QC (Quality Assurance or Quality Control). In government it's called checks and balances. We don't refer to the FDA inspector as someone who "nags" at the meat packing plants right? On the contrary, we see the value in having someone around who ensures our food is handled with care and systems are being followed to protect our health. We put value on situations where there is a balance in almost anywhere other than our own homes where WE MEN are held accountable by our wives. This is where we have to look closer at what is really happening. We have to look deeper behind our frustrations and past the relentless reminding our of spouses. Why do they do this and how does it help us? I'd say it can best be explained by looking at the beginning.
In Genesis 2:18, it says that our wife was created to be our "עזר" (help meet). So, what is a help meet? To put it easily, I define it myself as the other half of our unified body that is needed for us to be complete and function properly (i.e. what helps us to get things done). So, by that very simple outlook our wives are created for a purpose, and contained in that purpose is their design to help us do what needs to be done. And since life is distracting, sometimes complex, and we all grow weary at times our help meet is there to keep us on track. In summary, I'd say it all boils down to this:
If your wife is your עזר (help meet), and she persistently reminds you to do something that helps the unit, it is not nagging. It is just her doing what she is designed to do. Next time your wife is persistent, just say thank you and get it done. #OvercomingCulturalLies
Don't our wives understand that our time is short and must be used wisely? They always seem to push just the right buttons that makes forgetting the item they are incessantly telling us about impossible to forget...until you get distracted again and........forget. Then here they come with a fresh reminder while still somehow smiling and pleasant as if they had never told us once before. Where does the nagging end???
Our wives are determined to have whatever is broken be repaired. Whatever is unfinished needs to be completed. Whichever task is not done should be marked off their infinite list that continuously updates as if it were a cloud based super system incapable of a memory cap.
So, you finally give in and complete the repair. Three cheers for that!!! Then, just when the sigh of relief hits your thoughts she has 3 new reminders for you to complete. What is your response? I suppose at this point there are at least a handful of ideas. You could listen and be responsive. You could walk away frustrated and repeat the process from the last reminder. You could get angry and begin to argue with your spouse maybe even saying hurtful words like "you nag me too much" or even worse. Maybe you have a response all your own. But, in the end why do we respond the way we do?
A marriage is a covenant relationship where two separate people have become one. If one part of the unit isn't getting something done, and the other half of that unit helps make that happen; a common goal that improves the unit can be reached. If your wife is "nagging" you about something needing to be completed, it's probable that even if you don't see it that task does need to be done. In business, we call this type of person QA or QC (Quality Assurance or Quality Control). In government it's called checks and balances. We don't refer to the FDA inspector as someone who "nags" at the meat packing plants right? On the contrary, we see the value in having someone around who ensures our food is handled with care and systems are being followed to protect our health. We put value on situations where there is a balance in almost anywhere other than our own homes where WE MEN are held accountable by our wives. This is where we have to look closer at what is really happening. We have to look deeper behind our frustrations and past the relentless reminding our of spouses. Why do they do this and how does it help us? I'd say it can best be explained by looking at the beginning.
In Genesis 2:18, it says that our wife was created to be our "עזר" (help meet). So, what is a help meet? To put it easily, I define it myself as the other half of our unified body that is needed for us to be complete and function properly (i.e. what helps us to get things done). So, by that very simple outlook our wives are created for a purpose, and contained in that purpose is their design to help us do what needs to be done. And since life is distracting, sometimes complex, and we all grow weary at times our help meet is there to keep us on track. In summary, I'd say it all boils down to this:
If your wife is your עזר (help meet), and she persistently reminds you to do something that helps the unit, it is not nagging. It is just her doing what she is designed to do. Next time your wife is persistent, just say thank you and get it done. #OvercomingCulturalLies
Monday, June 9, 2014
Increasing the Financial IQ of Your Children
Are you teaching your children how to manage their money? When is the right age? Where do you start?
Well, in my experience I have found that no age is really too young. Even if you don't yet have kids you can at least start a savings plan (and would have a head start). But, if you have kids here are some ideas that I use in our home.
1) We have a family meeting each week where everyone gets their allowance
- Give here whatever amount you feel is necessary. I have made it tiered based on age and am currently giving a flat amount to each child of $5/week.
- Make it fun! I might have one week where I throw in a random bonus amount to their general allowance or just add to their savings account, but I ALWAYS share it with them.
2) Have the kids take their own money and put some aside for tithing and some aside for savings.
- Here , we use the 10% principle to each.
- VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: The child needs to receive all money and be the one who physically puts the correct amounts into tithing, savings, etc.
3) All kids get to choose if they want to contribute additional money to savings, tithing, or the vacation fund.
4) Count the money!
- I always have them count on their own out loud to me (if possible) or count with me for the younger ones. This builds on their counting skills, improves money exchanging skills, and helps them understand how much they have.
- This gets all children excited as they get to see their savings account grow and sometimes even their spending money if they aren't losing it all. I also count the vacation money so the dream of our family agreed item/vacation becomes more of a reality each week. This has been so successful that my kids regularly contribute back some of their spending money to our vacation fund.
5) Spending the Money
- In my house, the kids get to use their spending money however they choose (purchases still subject to parental approval).
- Make sure the kids get to pay the cashier themselves and help them count their change and verify it against the receipt. This helps create even more excitement and again builds skills.
6) The Parent's role
This part can vary quite a bit, but I have found that it needs to be constantly changed and adapted to each child depending on growth.
- At first, I let them spend it instantly at the first store we went to because they were so excited to buy on their own.
-Then, I intentionally took them in a store with lots of toys and they had no money left to purchase anything. The hard part here is for the parents NOT to step in and buy anything which I know is tough if you are like me. But, if you can hold back it will start one of the most important lessons of this entire financial education: IF YOU SPEND EVERYTHING YOU HAVE ON WHAT YOU DON'T NEED THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO BUY WHAT YOU MIGHT NEED LATER. It also helps to begin the next phase where I begin training them not to buy on impulse.
- After the first couple of weeks watching them throw their spending money away, I decided to try something different. I really wanted them to understand that buying on impulse does not produce good results in the long run. So, I then started having them take notes of what they wanted to buy in the store without spending a dime. Then, on the next trip to that store after visiting at least a few in between and letting time pass if they still feel that purchase is good and justified I allow them to complete the purchase. I feel this should help them curb any impulse buying, and give them the chance to appreciate their hard earned money.
7) Start the bank Account
- When your child is successfully creating a savings account that has grown enough it's time for the next step. My goal is $100 for each child. Once they hit that number I take them individually to the bank with me and open their very own account. From here, I have them fill out their own deposit slip each trip and review their balance against the previous balance.
8) Ideas for tracking
- I encourage tracking of all "accounts". I use a spreadsheet so the kids can see clearly how the accounts are growing. It also helps with accountability and reference if a child mixes up money with another sibling or loses a purse. But, a notebook or notepad works just as well.
I hope this helps begin the journey of teaching your children how to manage their money at an early age.
Well, in my experience I have found that no age is really too young. Even if you don't yet have kids you can at least start a savings plan (and would have a head start). But, if you have kids here are some ideas that I use in our home.
1) We have a family meeting each week where everyone gets their allowance
- Give here whatever amount you feel is necessary. I have made it tiered based on age and am currently giving a flat amount to each child of $5/week.
- Make it fun! I might have one week where I throw in a random bonus amount to their general allowance or just add to their savings account, but I ALWAYS share it with them.
2) Have the kids take their own money and put some aside for tithing and some aside for savings.
- Here , we use the 10% principle to each.
- VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: The child needs to receive all money and be the one who physically puts the correct amounts into tithing, savings, etc.
3) All kids get to choose if they want to contribute additional money to savings, tithing, or the vacation fund.
4) Count the money!
- I always have them count on their own out loud to me (if possible) or count with me for the younger ones. This builds on their counting skills, improves money exchanging skills, and helps them understand how much they have.
- This gets all children excited as they get to see their savings account grow and sometimes even their spending money if they aren't losing it all. I also count the vacation money so the dream of our family agreed item/vacation becomes more of a reality each week. This has been so successful that my kids regularly contribute back some of their spending money to our vacation fund.
5) Spending the Money
- In my house, the kids get to use their spending money however they choose (purchases still subject to parental approval).
- Make sure the kids get to pay the cashier themselves and help them count their change and verify it against the receipt. This helps create even more excitement and again builds skills.
6) The Parent's role
This part can vary quite a bit, but I have found that it needs to be constantly changed and adapted to each child depending on growth.
- At first, I let them spend it instantly at the first store we went to because they were so excited to buy on their own.
-Then, I intentionally took them in a store with lots of toys and they had no money left to purchase anything. The hard part here is for the parents NOT to step in and buy anything which I know is tough if you are like me. But, if you can hold back it will start one of the most important lessons of this entire financial education: IF YOU SPEND EVERYTHING YOU HAVE ON WHAT YOU DON'T NEED THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO BUY WHAT YOU MIGHT NEED LATER. It also helps to begin the next phase where I begin training them not to buy on impulse.
- After the first couple of weeks watching them throw their spending money away, I decided to try something different. I really wanted them to understand that buying on impulse does not produce good results in the long run. So, I then started having them take notes of what they wanted to buy in the store without spending a dime. Then, on the next trip to that store after visiting at least a few in between and letting time pass if they still feel that purchase is good and justified I allow them to complete the purchase. I feel this should help them curb any impulse buying, and give them the chance to appreciate their hard earned money.
7) Start the bank Account
- When your child is successfully creating a savings account that has grown enough it's time for the next step. My goal is $100 for each child. Once they hit that number I take them individually to the bank with me and open their very own account. From here, I have them fill out their own deposit slip each trip and review their balance against the previous balance.
8) Ideas for tracking
- I encourage tracking of all "accounts". I use a spreadsheet so the kids can see clearly how the accounts are growing. It also helps with accountability and reference if a child mixes up money with another sibling or loses a purse. But, a notebook or notepad works just as well.
I hope this helps begin the journey of teaching your children how to manage their money at an early age.
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